If everyone would be so kind as to take a look at Vortex: Convergence, Part 1 and read over the additions I made to accommodate Eris as the main antagonist, that would be splendid ^^.
I hope the length is not an issue, though as I mentioned often before already, I'm just prone to long, detailed descriptions of what is going on ^^".
I also added very minor alteration to the parts of the other characters, but they are still largely the same for like 99%. All that I did was add italics to a certain word that they said. Only for Ling I altered the sentence from " 'Leave them alone, Bo,' said Suki" to " 'Leave us alone, Bo,' said Ling", cause otherwise, the logic we uphold for why the characters were sucked in would dictate that it was Suki being sucked in and not Ling. And in Yun's part, I altered "blinding white light" to dark light, as the light is dark and black everywhere else.
I also took out that intervention Olaiya had with that old man as that was just so random and replaced it with a sort of "connecting the prologue with the first chapter"-scene at the end. Btw, does this prologue really still qualifies as a prologue? Cause it now smoothly connects with the first chapter, thus giving it the feeling that it is actually just one long chapter. I would suggest just making the prologue the official first chapter and renumber the others.
As you will notice, my explanation for why those exact characters were chosen is due to a combination of Eris's rage shooting of black lightning bolts of energy into a vortex while she's yelling at her father. I have italicized certain words and/or pieces of sentences that are in turn said by each of the characters, thus the reasoning is that by a combination of the black lightning bolt and the saying of the same words by Eris and the character, that specific person was chosen to enter the vortex.
I have also altered the setting a bit. Eris and her father have been fighting in the place where the team would land, as it made absolutely no sense to me that "Olaiya" and "his" father would also be sucked into a vortex without Olaiya knowing where it would lead and be surprised to see where they ended up. I have tried to already incorporate some of the beach setting Wordbender mentioned in the first chapter and the large grass plain was based on the infobox image the first chapter sports ^^". This means, however, that the first chapter also needs minor changes in that regard, as currently it says that they land there on a beautiful, sunny day, while I kind of blackened out the sky by the raging vortex they entered through.
Anyway, any kind of critique and comment about Eris and the chapter is appreciated.
ps: Hey, for many of you, it is still early in the morning, so we can sort of say that I met my "I'll try to rewrite it over the weekend"-deadline ;-)
ps2: Okay, I'm done rambling now :-p